- "By following the rules of the Film Actor's Guild, the world can become a better place; that handles dangerous people with talk, and reasoning; that, is the fag way. One day you'll all look at the world us actors created and say, "wow, good going, fag. You really made the world a better place, didntcha, fag?""
- ―Alec Baldwin
Alec is the head of the Film Actor's Guild and speaks in a news conference, hosted by Peter Jennings, about his hate for Team America, claiming all they do is make new enemies. He also blames the terrorist attack at Panama Bay on Team America's actions, claiming their reckless actions in Cairo was what caused the attack and insists the blood of the deceased is on their hands. Because he is Gary Johnston's hero, this speech is what drives Gary to quit the team.
Later, Alec is contacted by Kim Jong-il, who wants him and the other actors of the guild to perform at his palace in front of all the world leaders in North Korea. Alec believes that Kim is creating a peace conference, but Kim's real intention is to distract the world leaders with a fake peace conference so he can detonate his WMDs around the globe. Alec and the other actors arrive at the palace to host an entertainment show and keep the world leaders stationed at North Korea. However, he ultimately fails when Gary returns to the team and rescues them. He orders the other actors to stop Team America from making it to the main theater which they fail to achieve. He is then confronted by Gary and the two of them try to convince the crowd to side with each of them. However, Gary wins the crowd over with his speech and manages to act better than Alec does. As a result of this, Alec loses the crowds support, and is then booed by them. He is then shot to death by Kim Jong-il for failing to do his job. His head is blown off completely.
- The real Alec Baldwin actually found the project amusing, to the point of his daughter Ireland Baldwin's classmates and other random people on the street saying "You are worthless, Alec Baldwin!", to which he says "Back at you Kim."